Patient Observation File: 178
by NiGhT-sTaLkEr13
Summary: A small entry from Gammaray's point of view on his patient Megatron while he was locked away in Cybertron's Institution for the Criminally Insane and Defective Mechs. Follows my Fic Universe series.


Patient Observation File 178:

The patient's conditions are getting worse. Not only that, but I believe he is starting to take his frustration out on himself. Not physically, of course, but more mentally—which is worse. I'd actually rather see him cutting himself to release whatever it is inside, instead of holding it all back and caging himself up.  
Last night, I gave him a quick check-up before heading back home, and all he did was sit at the desk, writing down some sort of different language, as if he was in some kind of trance. But it wasn't that that was worrying me, it was the fact that he was whispering to himself whilst doing it, as if reciting the alphabet for it. I even tried to research it, thinking it may be something ancient, or from another planet, but I came up with negative results.  
When I tried to take the pad away from him, he only continued etching the letters into the table, as if he were possessed by something. His optics were pale, and his face looked as pale as a holograms. I didn't know what to say, or even do for that matter. The child is too far in. I fear that he's just going to implode, or even worse—attack me.  
I can't say I'm completely terrified of the youngling, but sometimes the gaze inside his optics is so dark that it just makes me feel as if something is crawling in my metal skin. It actually made me feel so sick one time that I almost vomited, as if it were some kind of spell cast over me. And he only blankly stared at me, as if he knew what was happening was because of him.  
Megatron's symptoms have grown worse than before. But for what? I don't know. I've asked myself if he is Schizophrenic, but the signs are all wrong here. Every kid has an imagination, and they are entitled to use them as much as they like. It's good for someone to have a creative spirit. But this is different. His conditions are like he IS the other mech in his imagination. Schizophrenic sufferers are usually great artists (like Megatron), but they also talk to other's, as if there are other beings inside the room that they can literally have a conversation with. Megatron actually BECOMES this other being. He literally changes personality, while Schizophrenics have imaginary voices and hallucinations. Plus, Megatron doesn't hallucinate. What he sees is really there, and what he feels is really there. Everything around him is real and genuine. No, this is something else for sure.  
I've run a fair few tests on his brain, as well as his overall body, but nothing has shown except for a hairline fracture on one of his chips. Maybe that's the answer? I will have to wait until the results come back and a doctor has looked at them all.  
I'm opening up the possibility to a multiple personality being inside, but that's just too rare to be true. I've only ever seen that condition once in my life before, and it was the hardest thing for me to ever go through, and something that I could never confess to Megatron. My bond-mate.  
I miss her dearly, but they took her away from me. Megatron seems to be all I have now, and even he doesn't see me as an equal. I don't think he ever will. But I'm trying so hard to make him better. I have to. But at the same time, I ask myself; why does he get to live while she had to suffer through so much experimental pain and then die? It isn't fair. But I cannot hold resentment on the sparkling. After all, there is still hope to make one patient better.  
I know that Megatron is hiding something, I can see it in his optics. The mech has so many signs of abuse, but no matter how many times I ask him, he denies it all. I know his parents, and I just can't see their love hurting him. Angra is a sweet femme, but I know Puncture can be a bit rough on him. But just beatings wouldn't make Megatron like this. Something has happened to him in a different way.  
Megatron has seemed to be a late bloomer when it's come to young-adulthood, but now he has hit the stage where he is very sexually active, and his oil needs to be worked up by exercising. I know he was a very sexually active mech when young, which proves to me that something has happened to him to be like this, but at the same time, it's like he just won't let himself out. I've asked him if he needed help with anything, and he threw it back in my face, refusing to give into what every teenage boy needs. I don't know if he's just embarrassed, or if he's trying to punish himself. All I know is that I can see the frustration all over him.  
At night, or in mornings, he wakes in cold sweats, and always manages to gain an erection from his dreams. Sure, I know every young mech goes through that, but not as much as him, this is a result for keeping himself in and not giving into his temptation. Not only that, though, he has also been taking it out on his work. Some of the things he has drawn are so disturbing that it makes my stomach-chamber churn. I've even given him magazines. And you know what he did? He ripped them up, spat on them and then urinated on them, telling me that I was nothing but filth to see those femmes in that kind of way. It wasn't like it was mine, I had only thought that he may have given in and felt better, because it's only making his anger grow more and more. Now if that doesn't say piss off, I don't know what does.  
All I know, for now, is that the patient isn't the young mech that he resembled only a few stellar-cycles back. I've known him since he was just a child, and he has become something so much darker. This place, and his own mind, are turning him into nothing but darkness. But the law is the law here, and nothing can be done to get him out. He isn't safe to himself or the public. I only hope that I can save him before he does something terrible, or ends up like my used-to-be-mate…

Gammaray

Date: 1 Ø- Ξ9- Д ₣

**Author's Comment:**

****Well, I got a few hits on my last one from Megatron's point of view, and so my buddy said it would be cool to see one from Gammaray's point of view. So, I gave it a crack, and I rather like it.

This gives you a little info on what the doctor sees on his patient, as well as how he speaks of him and observes him. And, there's a little hint to his resentment here.


End file.
